That is when I realized that I was sure; I knew.
You are my mister right: handsome, caring, and strong.
For seventeen and twenty, we have lasted so long.
I feel I am now ready to tell you the whole truth,
I know that you love me, but I can't say "I love you, too."
I care a lot for you, so please listen to this:
We're still much too young to know what love is.
Baby, when I tell you the truth about how I feel
I want to say "I love you" and have those words be real.
I hope you understand, I just want it to be true
So you can be excited when I proclaim my love for you.
I know I feel all bubbly when I hear your name,
And when you hear our song, I know you feel the same.
But does this equal love, such a meaningful word?
I know one year ago, I'd have though, "how absurd!"
When I catch myself thinking about the connection we share,
I look inside my heart and realize how much I care.
In this world, true love is rare; to say it means the world and more
Which is why I must be sure before I open up that door.
Our relationship has blossomed, and I never want it to end.
You are my one and only, you are my best friend.
Baby, please sit down. I have something to say:
"I love you, my darling, in every single way."
July 12th, 2004 was the day our first kiss took place, and July 12th, 2008 is the day of our last. 4 beautiful years of complications - 5 beautiful years of knowing you, loving you, and being the best of friends with you...
Rest in peace, baby boy! You always knew how much I loved you and how I'll forever care about you. You were always there for me when I needed you, and you knew when I needed space and when I required your presence. So many insane things have happened in our lives, and although we endured a lot of hurt and pain, we also experienced the most amazing times of our lives. You're with Rach now, and I know you're happy and looking down on me.
I never shared this poem with you, which I wrote when you were in the hospital, and now I wish I had. I know that you know how I feel and how much I love you, I just wish I could have gazed into those beautiful eyes of yours and told you one more time. You were my world for so long: you were my first love. You taught me so much in our time together and your life was cut drastically short by no fault of your own. I could kill the guy who did this to you, but what would that solve? He made a mistake similar to the one I made years ago with Rachel, and he's going to learn from his mistake the same way I learned from mine - taking somebody out of this world, by accident or not, is one of the worst things a person can do, and it's something that will stay with a person forever.
I love you more than anything. You and I may have ended our romantic relationship many months ago, but we've remained such great friends. I don't know who I'll be able to call in the middle of the night when everything is going wrong, and now I have nobody left who was there that night Rach died - I have nobody to tell me it's okay and nobody to take away my blame when I'm feeling down. You have no idea what kind of impact you've had on my life, but I have to let go. It's time that I let go of you and Rachel... time to move on.
November 28, 1987- February 18, 2009. Joel, I love you! Complications from the wreck that took place last March... we thought we had it all figured out. You have struggled so much from that wreck and you did what the doctors said you wouldn't be able to - you walked again, you talked again, you goofed around again... and yet here we are... how could this happen?? I love you baby boy forever and always! Rest in peace. I'll be okay because I know that, while I can no longer see you in person or hold you in my arms, I can still talk to you, look at pictures, and love you like I always have. Say hi to Rachel for me, and please just let her know I'm sorry and I love her just as much as I love you.
Love always, babyy G :)
1 comment:
I love you kate, and I'm so sorry about all of this. It hurts so much to see someone we love gone, but we'll always have each other to remember him by. Joel was such an amazing person and athlete, and we all know how much he loved you. It won't be the same without him, and I'm so sorry you can't make the trip to his funeral. When you come back to Concord, come see me and I'll drive us down to see aunt allie and the rest of the family - we can go visit his grave and just remember him for the great person he was. My cousin was lucky to have you in his life, and we will always remember him. Rest in peace bro.. you were the best cousin a guy could ask for.
Post a Comment